This week, our own wonderful Tammy Hill has graciously offered to share a little bit about her journey through divorce. Thank you, Tammy, for your bravery, your honesty, and your wisdom.
I never thought in my wildest dreams that after 20+ years of marriage and two kids, I would be divorced. But, without warning, my husband walked out, leaving me with a terrified 12-year-old son and a lot of questions about what happened.
Yes, the marriage wasn’t great. Yes, we seemed to be going in different directions, and communication became less and less. But I always had HOPE. Even after he walked out, I still went after him to try and keep our family together. Even after I found out that he had a girlfriend during our marriage, I still negotiated. You do things that you never thought you would do, you say things that you thought you would never say, and you feel things that you thought you would never feel.
Sounds like a country western song, but the ripping apart of your family is one of the most excruciatingly painful things that most people will experience. I had the crazies for a while. The angry stage is the most fun. I would text his girlfriend some not-so-nice things, and I would tell my husband that I wasn’t afraid of prison.
Oh yes, it was quite a rough process, but I trusted that God would get me through. I knew I was completely broken, and I needed help. I knew God was with me, and so I surrounded myself with good godly friends, started going to a counselor, and I got involved with a divorce care group. Please understand that I did not survive my divorce, and the tearing apart of my heart. But God took me though HIS process, where I went through different stages of growth and healing, where His people loved me unconditionally. God created a newness within me. He created a new strength within me, gave me a new passion for life. No, I am not the same person I was. He made me stronger, He made me better, He made me more compassionate than ever.